everything is great. just great. but everything is also temporary.

i don't believe in forever.








never did.

_quicksand_


we never outgrow the need to share what it feels like to live in our private worlds; to share our unique experiences. our problems. our frustrations. this is why a sympathetic ear is important in human relationships -- and exactly why the failure to be heard is painful.

jumping in to say what's on our minds before realizing where the other person is coming from, takes away the possibility of getting a little sympathy. not a lot of sympathy, just a little. and really, that's all it takes.

as it is, we experience things differently. and we react differently. and we recover differently.

i do not expect someone to fully understand what i'm going through (as it could be almost impossible at times). i only need someone to acknowledge the fact that i am indeed having a rough time and that i have to cope the only way i know how; someone who won't make me feel that my approach to the situation is not necessarily exaggerating.

there is a reason-- a deeper reason -- why i cry. and it's not just because i CAN (not "am", but "can") be overly -- almost irritatingly emotional (and i hate it). i cry because there are moments when i cannot find the comfort i am looking for...

i guess, sometimes, it's better not to share. there was a phase in my life where i kept everything to myself. maybe i should try doing that again.

_my bes_


when i was in grade school and high school, i always ended up losing my best friend -- not to death, but to other less tragic reasons. either she would go abroad, transfer schools, or we would have different interests and simply grow apart. when you're a kid and your friend likes doing other things, it's easy to lose contact.

so when i entered college, i vowed never to call someone my best friend again. sure i'd have close friends, but i wouldn't dare label someone as my best friend. i thought, who needed one anyway?

years went by, and i started working right after graduation. yup, still bestfriend-less. a couple more years went by and i ended up working at Sykes. while i was there, i established a great friendship with this girl. it was unexpected. and to think that our friendship culminated after a fight. yes, that's when the infamous line "you think you're so perfect" started. that's when we became best friends.

i think i would have still lived a good life if i didn't have a best friend. but it's definitely better that i do. in fact, i now have three...you, Love and jayvs. :)

every woman should have a friend whom she can trust completely, who would always give advice no matter how painfully true they are, who would always believe in her and be proud of her, who would remain connected to her even when they are countries apart. :) bes, thank you for being that person to me. have a wonderful, wonderful birthday!