Saturday, February 27, 2010

_gotta roar into the year of the tiger_

::Happy faces at the Chinese New Year Red Party::

Gong Xi Fa Cai everybody!

Chinese New Year Celebration is coming to an end -- tomorrow to be exact. February all happened in a blink of an eye. Both my personal and work life have been....eventful. I wanted to say stressful, but I'm starting to have a more positive take on things again. I still whine here and there, but a minute or two later I get back on track. I really have to anyway. Who else is gonna help me but myself, right? By God's grace, I'll be fine. :)

All those things that happened this month really kept me busy, which is not to say that I didn't have time for reflection. Lots of it. Yes, I have this terrible habit of thinking too much. Doing so makes me feel like I'm locked in a circle of calmness and safety. It usually happens on my way home -- particularly that moment when I'm walking from the train station to the flat. Passing by the park (the quiet, clean and lovely park in our neighborhood) at night puts me in the perfect mood to think. Overthink. Pray. And sometimes, as much as I hate it to admit it...cry. I even sit on the bench for a while. Blame Singapore for putting up so many parks like this one. :P I will probably spend 1/4 of my time here in SG sitting on park benches pondering about life. Pathetic? Well, that's how I get by. Of course sometimes I think my problems are nothing compared to others'. But what am I supposed to do? This is the set of problems given to me. I have to deal with it and I am licensed to cry over it if I want to. If I have to.

While it helps to think that others have bigger problems, sometimes I can't help but feel down about my own share. The last time I felt like this was, I think, about 5 years ago. I remember writing in my old blog that I was lonely, and that the loneliness was palpable. Kind of happening again lately. The only difference this time is that there is one person I know who can actually take away that loneliness. But that person is probably thinking of the same thing about me, and experiencing the exact same thing I'm going through. Whew.

But life goes on.

And the Year of the Tiger is welcoming me with open arms :) Might as well reciprocate! Like I said, I'm trying to be more positive again. ;)

And if you're reading this, yes, I was talking about you.