Saturday, September 23, 2006


it's been said and oftentimes repeated, that time heals all wounds.

or maybe it just makes you get used to the pain.

either way, you will eventually get to the place where you can finally say that it's over. not alright -- just over.

you feel a controlling weariness, not because of what they've done -- no matter how wrong it was -- but because something you once believed that will always be yours is now gone. for good. your bag of good spirits is emptied out.

you stare at the wall, and another wall. anything you look at appears the same. you breathe in the air that carries the emptiness, the tiredness and even the annoying shame that comes with it. there's nothing much left to do and there's nowhere to go but here. just here. where the truth is. the truth will never change and it definitely won't leave you. so figure out a way around it.

what you realize now is that some decisions are not difficult to make -- they're just painful, sometimes even a torture. and you're gonna need more time, not to be healed, but to get used to it.