tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-208446472024-03-19T20:34:32.501+08:00perfectly tarnishedUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger126125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-58608457582441458162017-11-26T21:58:00.001+08:002017-11-26T21:59:32.404+08:00I miss writing. I miss the old blogging world. I miss my old friends. I miss being a kid and not worrying about bills or responsibilities. I miss the simple life. I miss the analog life.
I’m not even sure why I’m here. I just needed a space to breathe.
I’m tired but I’m still hopeful...and faithful. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-77734151176076980552013-07-31T00:33:00.001+08:002013-07-31T00:33:41.760+08:00Eternally GratefulThank you, Lord, for always, always making me rise above my fears and frustrations. Thank you for the gift of family, friendship, music and laughter which all make me feel better!
<p>
I fully understand the importance of obedience. :) Thank you for saving me -- again.
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I am forever grateful.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-25271905128608777092013-07-27T02:52:00.000+08:002013-07-27T02:53:49.187+08:00learning, yet againI always tell myself that I know what I'm getting into. And I always convince myself that I can manage the expected pain.
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I'm so damn wrong.
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Here I am. Hurt. Again.
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And yes, I saw it coming. But I forgot that it'll be more painful than I anticipated. I should stop fooling myself that I can handle it. Maybe I still can, but the process is absolute torture.
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But I won't stop believing that I'm strong, because I will survive this. I know it. I just know it.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-83592218252591772632013-06-26T22:49:00.001+08:002013-06-26T22:49:53.477+08:00Like a FogExperience has taught me that all acquaintances are passing. I keep forgetting to make the most of every contact. And when I realize it, it's too late.
<p>
Perhaps it also has something to do with my desire to maintain that wall. Being jaded made me into this type of person. Sometimes I couldn't tell anymore if breaking the wall is worth it, or even necessary.
<p>
Dealing with people is probably not something I'd be an expert in. I keep learning, growing, and sometimes regretting.
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And to you, I really have no choice but to say goodbye. Didn't expect to do this, but then again, I didn't expect to get to know you in the first place.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-9800491583042257022013-06-22T02:18:00.002+08:002013-06-22T02:18:59.897+08:00Oh, dear.Life is much easier when you don't care.
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<p>
But not necessarily better. Remember that.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-73659719903848682252013-01-25T05:48:00.002+08:002013-01-25T05:51:45.271+08:00StreamSeems like I've really lost the love for blogging. *sigh*
<p>
Writing my thoughts down has been replaced by...well, just more thinking. I do this while walking, driving, or sipping my extra hot coffee. My friend says we are the brooding kind of generation -- always analyzing. In my case, I usually over-analyze.
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So many things have happened since I returned to Manila in 2010. Perhaps I'll blog about them one day.
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I left the OFW disposition back in SG. I've not only closed doors, but also locked them -- for good. Of course I opened new ones too. There are always so many doors for us, if only we knew which one to open. And even if we don't, we still open whichever we think is calling upon us. After all, the greatest adventures in our lives are in the risks we take.
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And that's what I've been trying to do almost every day of my life. :)
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-87749022428883545352012-09-06T00:12:00.000+08:002012-09-06T00:16:41.795+08:00The Memories We Make
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Almost 10 years ago, on the 4th floor of SMPC, we became seatmates. I didn't like you at first because I thought you were noisy. Haha! As it turned out, we were noisier together. :P Kawawa sina Benneth at iba nateng katabi haha.
One of my favorite stories from your Sykes days was your job interview.
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Interviewer: Do you know what HTML is?
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Sam: No.
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Interviewer: Do you know anything about cookies?
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Sam: No.
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Interviewer: Do you know what HTTP stands for?
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Sam: No, but I'm traineable!
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Aaaaand you got hired! Haha! One of the best success stories in the BPO industry! :D
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From SMPC days, we've surely come a long, and I mean, a looong way. No matter where our feet take us, we'll always have great memories to hold on to. And we'll make more. And yes, there will be no judgments whatsoever. :) There is nothing you can do that will make me love you less, bes. :)
<p>
Yours is the only statement I could take when it comes to that very personal aspect in my life. I know you only want what's best for me. Others just seem too prying and insincere. Perhaps having you is one of the reasons why I'm brave to face the future "alone". I am blessed with a wonderful friendship which I know that will last me a lifetime. I know that somehow, someone will always be there for me -- hindi nga lang romantically. Haha! Thank you for always making me part of your family. :)
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Happy double digit birthday, my bes! Haha! Matatagalan pa ulet bago ko masabi 'to. Another ten years. :D Love you!
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See you on Sunday! :) I can't wait!
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And because we're reminiscing, here are some photos from our little adventures here and abroad. Look how nene we are in some photos! Haha! Most of my happiest moments were really spent with you, bes. :) I'm still looking for "older" photos, but so far, here's what I found:
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieROipG-8sxiB-xhhDNqYVMpl5IyLdwZ9IIJMJY4eQkPnaIPxTu55zQsbQjtr8BwbZNsjMFEKQqhbvIIr02bIfV3tYOcZG5uMPkZYBXHehyWPr5vINhgQjVQChmoYDAQd1znucZw/s1600/IMG-0136.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="298" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieROipG-8sxiB-xhhDNqYVMpl5IyLdwZ9IIJMJY4eQkPnaIPxTu55zQsbQjtr8BwbZNsjMFEKQqhbvIIr02bIfV3tYOcZG5uMPkZYBXHehyWPr5vINhgQjVQChmoYDAQd1znucZw/s320/IMG-0136.JPG" /></a></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-31065829870341455382012-03-19T23:59:00.003+08:002012-03-25T20:30:10.671+08:00See you later :)I know that people mean a lot to me when they make me cry like I did when I was 5. It's the type of sobbing that is never camera friendly. Hagulgol na iyak. Nakakapanget at nakaka-ubos tissue na iyak.<br />
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I'm writing this blog entry because I can no longer contain my sadness.<br />
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Last year, our team was joined by two unbelievably amazing women. We were so eager to work with them. At some point, however, things weren't exactly perfect. But I know for a fact that difficult situations pave the way for something wonderful. In our case, we turned from being simply colleagues to becoming a family. Disputes, when resolved, give you a chance to know how extraordinary your family members are. You end up admiring and loving these people. I know I did. <br />
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And so, we got through all the drama and we vowed to make a difference. We had plans. Big plans. Exciting plans. Plans that we were really passionate about. We couldn't wait to make things happen. But we learned, like we always do, that not all things are within our control. Despite the challenges, we knew that we had each other's back. We still do.<br />
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I don't know when I'll stop crying -- maybe tomorrow, maybe next week. But I know that I will never stop trying to make a difference and I owe it to you, Jane and Neri, and to everyone who's been a part of our crazy team. Thank you for teaching me to inspire more people, to question the world, to challenge my assumptions and to realize that indeed, we are all capable of so much.<br />
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Today, I returned to work with a heavy heart. I wish I could have stopped you from leaving but I also know that there's a reason behind all this. You taught us to grow and now it's time for you to teach other people to do the same. I'm really sad to see amazing people leave the team, but I also can't help but be excited for your new lives. I know that you'll do great and life-changing things over there. :) And we promise you that we'll do the same here. <br />
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Jane Twinnie, bukod sa hindi kita nayakap nung last day mo, meron pa kong ibang regrets -- ang hindi ka nakasamang uminom nang todo, mag beach, at ang hindi ko pag master ng "ferzone language" mo. Haha. Siguro kung nag inuman sessions tayo nang madami, na-master ko sya. Wala na akong twinnie sa office. :( Thank you sa lahat lahat. Sana talaga we had more time to bond. I know our paths will cross again. And don't worry, we will keep your legacy alive. :) Dedicated sayo ang bawa't magandang pagbabagong gagawin namen. :)<br />
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Neribellz, mamimiss ko talaga ang 1000 words per minute mo at ang daily impeachment updates from you. Wala na kameng ala Miriam Santiago sa mga ITO-wide SS meetings. :D When you speak, people really listen. Ayaw mo ba maging abogado or judge? :P Nung may nagsabi sayong "You could be a catalyst for change", he was wrong. To me, you already were. <br />
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I'll miss you girls, big time. :( Andito lang kame, palage. :) Isang jeepney ride lang kame from your new 'home'.<br />
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In case I haven't shown you enough or said it enough, I love you both. I love our team. :) <br />
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(((super tight chest to chest hugs)))<br />
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*photo courtesy of Ginobells. Sorry hindi ko na naipaalam sayong kinopya ko sya. :PUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-78244242350772369222011-10-22T15:18:00.000+08:002011-10-22T15:18:44.198+08:00_the so-called pot_If I am just working toward an end, I am confined to a process.<br />
<br />
Perhaps there's a reason why we never see the pot at the end of a rainbow. The rainbow in itself is a beauty. The rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what we expected. <br />
<br />
Whatever happens, happens. Let's just live.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-80870051938278029102011-10-22T10:49:00.000+08:002011-10-22T10:49:37.364+08:00_go with peace and love_"Funny when you're dead how people start listening..."<br />
<br />
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7NJqUN9TClM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
<br />
This song moves me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-76771430672330608632011-10-09T01:08:00.000+08:002011-10-09T01:08:41.372+08:00_so true_"Being paralyzed by indecision is worse than making the wrong decision."<br />
<br />
Ahuh. <br />
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I have to make firm decisions. Whether it's right or wrong is something I'll find out and deal with later.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-55706184642300806052011-09-06T22:22:00.002+08:002011-09-06T22:26:38.638+08:00_as you are_I thought I'd run out of things to say about you for your yearly feature. :P But, I guess, a lifetime is not enough to describe how wonderful you are. I'm pretty sure that sometimes you fail to realize that, and this is why I am writing this.<br /><br />Our adventures have really come really a long way. From being seatmates at SMPC to becoming flatmates in SG. I'll never get tired of talking about our lives in the Lion City. :P You are the only person I know who would understand what that place meant to me (and to us). (This is my blog, and this entry is dedicated to you. To everyone else, this may bore you. :D)<br /><br />Bes, I know I speak for both of us when I say that living in the Lion City was a phase in our lives when we matured the most. It is true that you get to know someone better when you travel together, but you will get to know a person best when you share the same flat with him/her. :D We had our biggest misunderstandings during those years but they also made way for meaningful reconciliations and a rock solid friendship. It gave a whole new meaning to the term "housemates". The truth is, I would not have survived SG without you. Heck, I would not have survived all my heartaches without you. :P You made me realize that there really is so much in store for us. <br /><br />The things that make you wonderful are things which I can't see, but things which I can feel. I lost count on the number of times you've made me laugh when I'm down. One of my favorites was the time you asked me to stop crying so that you could test your newly purchased eye shadow on me. :P I swear, I laughed the instant I heard you say that. <br /><br />I've made mistakes, but I was definitely right when I said that you'd be a great mom. I think it's amazing how you balance motherhood, marriage, career and friendship. Yes, all your friends' craziness can be a handful too. :P <br /><br />I can't put into words how much you've helped me and everyone around you become better persons. You do not only tell us that we'll be fine, you do your signature caring ways. It really is a blessing that we're all back home now. Maybe we need more time to be crazy together. And like I said before, no matter where we relocate, we would always have exclusive rights as best friends. :P<br /><br />No other day is more appropriate to celebrate how grateful I am to have you as my best friend, and I can't help but let this glorious theme steep a bit in my mind and, cheesy as it sounds, in my heart right now. <br /><br />For all the laughter, for all the tears, for all the discoveries, for all the love -- thank you. :)<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihp6-EqHIxM5_ckJ9vC6II8XY3XHEs5k10fUcVcDoVGGUaheHbUqdZzBKubnOPPHA_CNIuMiUPr17BZ8sr3Pk1B7pQoUtFdUcSRruA498rrrD1dzcuwWCDEuLXu0ocV7UDu951hA/s1600/19341_1310953978133_1359146010_30888200_7156131_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 235px; height: 305px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihp6-EqHIxM5_ckJ9vC6II8XY3XHEs5k10fUcVcDoVGGUaheHbUqdZzBKubnOPPHA_CNIuMiUPr17BZ8sr3Pk1B7pQoUtFdUcSRruA498rrrD1dzcuwWCDEuLXu0ocV7UDu951hA/s320/19341_1310953978133_1359146010_30888200_7156131_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5649249943788510002" /></a><br /><br /><br />Happy birthday, my Bes! :) Love you!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-7082886859679826402010-12-31T18:43:00.002+08:002010-12-31T18:43:37.704+08:00_splendid_I have a few things to write about where I've been, where I'm headed and everything in between.<br /><br />But that can wait.<br /><br />For now, I will breathe in the goodness of the very last day of the year. I am ending 2010 with much gratitude and welcoming 2011 with optimism and spunk. I think it's really the only way to go. And I'm truly happy that I am in the company of my loved ones on this occasion. Wherever you are, I hope you are celebrating the new year with the people you most care about.<br /><br />Here's to finding new paths, new joys, and seeing beauty in the most unexpected situations.<br /><br />An incredible new year awaits us!<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Hokay, back to the kitchen to help prepare media noche! Mmmmm...I love the smell of fresh basil. :D<br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-57439917544751894232010-10-31T23:19:00.002+08:002010-10-31T23:22:16.226+08:00_defining_I felt my mouth pulling into the shape of protest.<br /><br />I pointed out to her the obvious facts. I practically plotted out the dots. But I guess, some people really have a hard time connecting them. I can never quite believe how some people turn a blind eye to something big. Something serious. Something alarming.<br /><br />Yes, I know we have to bear it (and I think I've done a good job on this). And sometimes, we have to pretend it's not happening. But it can't be this way for.e.ver. At some point, reality will sink in and you're gonna have to face it. At some point, you're gonna have to make that dreaded confrontation. Well guess what? That point came already. And since you couldn't do it, I thought I'd do it for you.<br /><br />I apologize for the manner I said it. But I don't apologize for the message I was trying to send.<br /><br />It's about time somebody did something.<br /><br />And I won't stop here.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-52882928105475561052010-09-26T23:12:00.000+08:002010-09-26T23:14:36.253+08:00_lanes_I am gearing up for this week. September is about to end and it will be a busy time for me -- both at work and play.<br /><br />I'm happy to say that September has been good to me. Overall, it has been good. :) I finally took the big leap and somehow I managed to make everything work, and amazingly, make it work just in time! Just in time before I lose my sanity :P Thank God!<br /><br />It's not always easy. Just a few months ago I was ultimately feeling that I was down on my luck. And it's during those times when I tell myself that I really have to stay positive. Realistically positive. I am saying "realistically positive" because I had an interesting talk with my teenage sister yesterday in the car.<br /><br />Despite the age difference, my sister and I jibe in a lot of ways. But in this particular instance, I could really distinguish the age gap. :P<br /><br />The way she views life, is, well...idealistic. Probably a tad too much. Hearing a 15-year old tell me that the love of my life is just out there -- it's kinda funny and sweet. She said that when the time comes, she wants to marry her first love. She believes that her point of view comes from the fact that she's never experienced a heartbreak.<br /><br />Judging by the hopeful look she was giving me, I knew I had to say something. "Well...marrying your first love..that's not gonna happen to me anymore, but maybe it could happen to you. But seriously, that's very idealistic. You even have a dream school for college!" She replied with "I'm just being positive!" in a defensive yet sophisticated manner. Clearly, her definition of positivity and mine are worlds apart -- generations apart, if you will. And she wants to know everything. I, on the other hand, am old enough to know that I don't know everything. And I never will. And I'll let her discover this on her own.<br /><br />Experience really does change your outlook in life.<br /><br />No matter the age, however, I know that we both want to live life the best way we can. We're both game to suck the marrow out of life and to experience surreal kind of happiness every chance we get.<br /><br />I always seem to have some of the most memorable conversations during car rides. :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-49969237544748607462010-09-06T20:57:00.000+08:002010-09-06T21:24:30.741+08:00_To My Very Best_A year ago today, we were all in the kitchen immersed in cooking. And all around the house we had balloons, colorful plates and cups, floating candles and even a HAPPY BIRTHDAY sign hung on the wall. The food could feed an entire army. The vodka and wine were overflowing. We were all psyched up for your birthday dinner. Why wouldn't we, you were turning 18. :P<br /><br />You were engaged. On the horizon was your wedding. You were B's fiancee and you had Chipmunk.<br /><br />Fast forward to today, you are happily married with a baby on the way. What a difference a year makes! We didn't expect you'd have a baby bump on your birthday this year, but as you've said, life is full of surprises.<br /><br />I remember when you told me you probably needed more time to prepare yourself for motherhood. I guess all would-be moms feel that way at some point. I know this is coming from a single girl and I don't have the discernment that mothers have, but I do know with all my heart that you need no preparation. You need proof? God gave you Chipmunk and Riley at this point in your life. :)<br /><br />You are a great mom. I say you ARE and not WILL BE, because even before Riley comes out, you are already a mom to Chipmunk. And with your caring ways, thoughtfulness and sense of responsibility that you show to me and your loved ones, motherhood has always been in your system. And it's just waiting to go full blast. :)<br /><br />I am so excited for you Bes. I'm sure you will love motherhood. And like most things in our lives, this is something you have to experience first so that I can learn from you again. :P<br /><br />No matter how many more little ones you'll have and wherever life takes us (do I hear Canada and Denmark? :P), I will always be your best friend and the coolest "tita ninang" of your kids. (I hope no eyebrows will be raised about that coolest tita ninang thing haha!) And if there would be days when you feel like you're not doing a good job as a mom, I'll always be there to prove you wrong. Ok, I know B would probably do that, but I'll be there to do the explaining part. Hehe.<br /><br />Happy birthday my very best friend! Love you!<br /><br /><br />And because my last blog entry about our old flat made me reminisce, I chose this pic:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4YqiFoatJl-cPSLVo_6CyLmCN2OM7HSQGv5oX7pqIUfSqQgNYf0651lHA9qksUaUzh-tei6TsM4Cdm-ElPbWVuxA0Ol7mY7X31W0LMa1-hPvw2peCahwnKgIcApQWB2mcXHWZBg/s1600/4752_1169820529885_1359146010_30459124_6957834_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4YqiFoatJl-cPSLVo_6CyLmCN2OM7HSQGv5oX7pqIUfSqQgNYf0651lHA9qksUaUzh-tei6TsM4Cdm-ElPbWVuxA0Ol7mY7X31W0LMa1-hPvw2peCahwnKgIcApQWB2mcXHWZBg/s320/4752_1169820529885_1359146010_30459124_6957834_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513790577074842274" /></a><br />Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial Hall: our trip to Taipei :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-74733473772563630742010-08-31T22:01:00.001+08:002010-08-31T22:05:23.719+08:00_more than a pad_Long overdue, but I'm finally taking time to write about something important to me and my bes. <br /><br />I am admittedly sentimental. With that said, I was a little sad leaving the flat we've lived in for 2 years.<br /><br />How do you say goodbye to a place where you spent probably half of your life in a foreign land?<br /> <br />The simplest things gave life to this place.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9cz8pcNXkxL5hVhMXROSO9RL3BeQvOtRwaIpyPp5JVtAMEgODI8sWZcjpxxVssU8GDJCqYXChRY070doY5LZLYY2Mb_IfU1FhM8dHXBwtnrtWHRmmrUHWyrZjQGgCMz8nnAGUOg/s1600/5166_95665413790_554703790_2094254_4654889_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9cz8pcNXkxL5hVhMXROSO9RL3BeQvOtRwaIpyPp5JVtAMEgODI8sWZcjpxxVssU8GDJCqYXChRY070doY5LZLYY2Mb_IfU1FhM8dHXBwtnrtWHRmmrUHWyrZjQGgCMz8nnAGUOg/s320/5166_95665413790_554703790_2094254_4654889_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511494192291686386" /></a><br />:: my first Christmas in Singapore, 2008 ::<br /><br /><br />I love how the smell of freshly brewed barako coffee wakes us up during weekend mornings. Pair that coffee with our homemade choco banana pancake or cinnanom toast and my day is already complete.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOrskhQ1qx0QeXMOJlKCB0e9TGN1liDapmuGVOKVq3u32rgnFqzf7rHJVws-1Jmb8X1dXW_wmcOxP8IRxYzPoHvt3C4t7v6yaBNsyHYBsSwqnWhfmeGo_L-EOIgrZmx0OFHMZYEg/s1600/5166_95667413790_554703790_2094278_532043_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOrskhQ1qx0QeXMOJlKCB0e9TGN1liDapmuGVOKVq3u32rgnFqzf7rHJVws-1Jmb8X1dXW_wmcOxP8IRxYzPoHvt3C4t7v6yaBNsyHYBsSwqnWhfmeGo_L-EOIgrZmx0OFHMZYEg/s320/5166_95667413790_554703790_2094278_532043_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511494387352317826" /></a><br />:: father's day 2009/vodka night with my dad, no less!::<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnrulmVR0_mTeSxbhmoEKV0h1E-HbIiDmenk7w-hW6K4AcGLikc4TRoLVgEE1yKCyNVrHnED5qidqOCR0SLcCggcnxL8J1gQ9TVpQdZPoLvxL6JjxZKw31VqGmn3_KYl_t0yHF-Q/s1600/27717_386814633790_554703790_4155921_3136370_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnrulmVR0_mTeSxbhmoEKV0h1E-HbIiDmenk7w-hW6K4AcGLikc4TRoLVgEE1yKCyNVrHnED5qidqOCR0SLcCggcnxL8J1gQ9TVpQdZPoLvxL6JjxZKw31VqGmn3_KYl_t0yHF-Q/s320/27717_386814633790_554703790_4155921_3136370_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511494569026132594" /></a><br />:: another one of those vodka nights with our giant cards ::<br /><br /><br />I love lazing on the couch or in my bed during hot afternoons dressed in house clothes that outsiders are not supposed to see (although sometimes it happens by accident. Tsk tsk!) I love staring at my orange bedroom walls and how they actually make my day and even night bright. (Sorry, no photo of my bedroom for this post.)<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaIH48omy2Z8ropmDJccpdaLRjMpU19C0dFw51LpZpRKgRCWc8CfASGcpZfw9hAvkSNf6_guMwP3QCvz-4dx4xfVmHWMWlcTvOYXXXfnzsZlgv-PUmrrYsNcdKtMMldVw8L3I0pQ/s1600/10227_1225915412222_1359146010_30652357_5284571_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaIH48omy2Z8ropmDJccpdaLRjMpU19C0dFw51LpZpRKgRCWc8CfASGcpZfw9hAvkSNf6_guMwP3QCvz-4dx4xfVmHWMWlcTvOYXXXfnzsZlgv-PUmrrYsNcdKtMMldVw8L3I0pQ/s320/10227_1225915412222_1359146010_30652357_5284571_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511494752674460050" /></a><br />:: my favorite corner in the living room ::<br /><br /><br />It was this place that made me enjoy doing chores. Whoever thought I'd love being Inday. :P And thanks to having a chef of a best friend and flatmate, I never missed most of the Filipino dishes since we make it in our own kitchen. Chicken adobo with ginger, daing na bangus, sinigang na hipon, adobong pusit and our award winning leche flan all kept homesickness at bay. :)<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIOnRVn5jzHvH6_w2apGGAPkbTr-4iET7g3s5e_KYG4tfMQTNm-EtztKTQYUZlo9XS05N4FcxcRmBevMWaMH_OnsrsjYcnQCYIHITtsgf76LkvHL-V56OsxHlh6YBwbAEo4kq0EA/s1600/4752_1170373263703_1359146010_30460572_1465775_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIOnRVn5jzHvH6_w2apGGAPkbTr-4iET7g3s5e_KYG4tfMQTNm-EtztKTQYUZlo9XS05N4FcxcRmBevMWaMH_OnsrsjYcnQCYIHITtsgf76LkvHL-V56OsxHlh6YBwbAEo4kq0EA/s320/4752_1170373263703_1359146010_30460572_1465775_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511494916675317026" /></a><br />:: the hallway which we passed by a thousand times ::<br /><br /><br />The flat was witness to a lot of memorable moments: birthday celebrations that were fun from the preparation stage until we wrapped up; my first Christmas in SG which I thought I'd spend alone but turned out to be a party (we even had friends fly in from Manila); countless vodka and wine nights which consisted of conversations from shallow to serious stuff about our future plans (work and love life included), and our past (work and love life definitely included); from the bathroom sink, my best friend announced that she was engaged and I shrieked with delight; in my bedroom and practically anywhere in the house, we discussed her wedding plans; we made the dining area a factory of purple themed wedding favors; knocking on my bedroom door on an ordinary friday, Sam showed me her pregnancy test kit where the word "pregnant" was glaring at me -- and that friday turned out to be extraordinary! And from then on, we discusssed everything there is to discuss about pregnancy. I especially enjoyed discussing possible names for their baby. I am just so happy now that they are not naming him Brandon (no offense to all the Brandons out there).<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFgnGh_vyR26VUm8hEU2OKIHcMUTfyRZJH0R8dMSRuJQVhbTiJUfEpf-2lpsYK9wY976JG7sN_EbCYZaS2zJHcB0yJQX_eclmLvPYQkrZsQuQZSGndanMUDFiAQqv-MJa9bFo09Q/s1600/10227_1225915892234_1359146010_30652368_3461969_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFgnGh_vyR26VUm8hEU2OKIHcMUTfyRZJH0R8dMSRuJQVhbTiJUfEpf-2lpsYK9wY976JG7sN_EbCYZaS2zJHcB0yJQX_eclmLvPYQkrZsQuQZSGndanMUDFiAQqv-MJa9bFo09Q/s320/10227_1225915892234_1359146010_30652368_3461969_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511495083061472194" /></a><br />:: sam's birthday sparklers which almost caused fire :P ::<br /><br /><br />On a more personal note, this flat, specifically my bedroom, became my refuge. It was where I cried myself to sleep and and recovered from heartaches. I won't elaborate on that anymore. What's important is I'm ok now, and I will always remember our Compassvale flat as the place where I dealt with the worst and celebrated the best.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiye-Y6QiQBNrF8Kow0znZ3Gir-7xn7HvZrZEPhYrXuPnNHFt8BTgDu6guBcV_n7MQQFkJy54nH1oLv0_TnxlGA2xGI_f66xYYD7StT0SSEpbAbxAil6V5OKGECP5L19_UHANO8fg/s1600/11136_214221893790_554703790_3286200_7601106_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiye-Y6QiQBNrF8Kow0znZ3Gir-7xn7HvZrZEPhYrXuPnNHFt8BTgDu6guBcV_n7MQQFkJy54nH1oLv0_TnxlGA2xGI_f66xYYD7StT0SSEpbAbxAil6V5OKGECP5L19_UHANO8fg/s320/11136_214221893790_554703790_3286200_7601106_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511495263142684978" /></a><br />:: our very last big gathering: my 31st ::<br /><br /><br />And most importantly, this flat was where we nurtured a home. Bes and I have always wanted to be flatmates and Singapore made that happen.<br /><br />Leaving this flat was altogether a different thing for me. I was not only vacating a flat. I was leaving something good for the hope of something better.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-43942407975204464792010-07-29T00:35:00.002+08:002010-07-29T00:35:54.443+08:00_alongside_I winced. I was in the middle of taking it all in. I assumed it was a shade less dramatic than others, but the elements it had, at that time, was a big deal to me.<br /><br />My initial private reaction was one of very little surprise with seemingly a hint of annoyance. Why wouldn't there be? <br /><br />It really is difficult to see that <strong><em>things happen for a reason</em></strong> when you are the one stuck in a bad situation. No amount of advice is going to make sense to you until you get out of it. That powerful moment is never hurried. Never forced. And definitely never known when it's going take place.<br /><br />So I waited for that moment. While I did, I listened. Observed. Processed. This was how I learned and coped, exactly as everyone does. From sideways comment over cold beer and fried food, sudden bursts of realization, or strange parallels that come curling out of a song, out of a movie, out of ad posters, out of a joke, and even out of a bad joke. <br /><br />I stand back with half a smile and say to myself -- "this is how the world works".<br /><br />I am still waiting for that moment. And until it comes, I will marvel at all these details around me. And even if the moment does come, I will still marvel at anything that makes me alive. <br /><br />I don't want to get so used to the world that nothing amazes me anymore.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-63244775225011071412010-06-29T19:00:00.000+08:002010-06-29T19:03:35.027+08:00_veer_So THIS is what they meant. <br /><br />"Sometimes, the hardest thing and the right thing are the same." Throw in another line which says “Do one thing everyday that scares you”, and I think I have made my 2010 the exciting year I have hoped for. <br /> <br />And we’re only in the month of June.<br /> <br />I am usually the first one to say that “change is always good”. Believing this helps me to accept changes – planned or not. It gets me excited about life. And believing it prevents me from doubting. Regretting. And God forbid, sulking.<br /> <br />Nothing ever prepares you for such swift changes. No matter how carefully you plan things, something always happens differently. Life is indeed not all about what we make it, but for the most part, it’s how we take it. I am coping and trying to see THIS as a bearable circumstance. That’s really all there is to it. <br /> <br />I made a decision -- a critical one. And I am accepting and managing the things that come with it. One of which is waiting for the outcome. The agony of waiting is sheer torture. But I am taking it well. I think I am.<br /><br />After all, I'm still standing. And I am grateful to be given choices in life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-81356060672626081672010-05-31T23:52:00.001+08:002010-06-01T00:17:56.638+08:00_leap_<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5XcIe7ism6GXrUnFVHUUmSIHgDTdvbCgct5u8ZlCYvVGtK004zxaQKEOdWf5l_LNln3NatK43QiFTc8Y9g9pznCzYk3w20_VmU7In0Q8BIi2gZJWkMRFgNv5XHEDig06Sc_fYsw/s1600/31177_399462598790_554703790_4452211_5347294_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5XcIe7ism6GXrUnFVHUUmSIHgDTdvbCgct5u8ZlCYvVGtK004zxaQKEOdWf5l_LNln3NatK43QiFTc8Y9g9pznCzYk3w20_VmU7In0Q8BIi2gZJWkMRFgNv5XHEDig06Sc_fYsw/s320/31177_399462598790_554703790_4452211_5347294_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5477467992488634338" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwrECbTzwWoyKzca0sorv49GnojM5rgObtLfpDB8r8E-56uWwlrHC253Odnho9yJK1xIT3RdV6xzvz3gvCBYzLhmR6hTsP591bbKMRui-sWHSc4dxUj7s_k02-6z-TjAcCZcidtw/s1600/32227_397112878790_554703790_4390894_5062964_n.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwrECbTzwWoyKzca0sorv49GnojM5rgObtLfpDB8r8E-56uWwlrHC253Odnho9yJK1xIT3RdV6xzvz3gvCBYzLhmR6hTsP591bbKMRui-sWHSc4dxUj7s_k02-6z-TjAcCZcidtw/s320/32227_397112878790_554703790_4390894_5062964_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5477467902013134050" /></a><br /> -= My farewell dinner at The Line =-<br /><br /><br />They say endings are beginnings of beautiful things. I love beginnings especially if it's one that involves something I bravely decided to do.<br /><br />Let me just repost my recent facebook status as this line really struck me:<br /><br /><em>"More powerful than the will to win is the courage to begin."</em><br /><br />I am really glad and grateful that I had the courage to make this change. I can't wait to begin my new journey. Thank you Lord! This really is for your greater glory. All of it!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-81970149335378006232010-04-25T23:07:00.001+08:002010-04-26T16:41:34.323+08:00_whisk_Everything, it seemed, was forgiven and mended. I experienced anticipated homecomings, joyful gatherings, wonderful celebrations, heartfelt talks. And I imagined more of these to come. This was all I ever needed to supposedly forget.<br /><br />Of course it didn't last. How could it? When a single, important evidence just popped out of nowhere, it was enough for me to remember. To be stirred. To <em><strong>feel</strong></em>. And disturbingly, to question if I have really forgiven.<br /><br />I would have been outraged, but the feeling of being tormented by doubts came first -- and prevailed.<br /><br />I am in awe at the fact that it's always me who gets to witness all these distressing matters. Yes, I am the "chosen one". I am just thankful that it hasn't turned me into a spiteful person. A wise woman told me that there is a big reason why I find myself in this rather fragile position that I never really chose to be in. Not too long from now, this will all make sense. Perfect sense. And whatever dots that have to be connected will be made by, yep -- yours truly. I hope she is right. She better be. :)<br /><br />But I'm hanging in there. I have been doing it for years anyway. I choose to overcome. I am still part of a blissful, elated world at least for a moment. Whatever absurdity that comes in the next hour or the next day scarcely matters.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-20653923764710271222010-03-31T23:50:00.001+08:002010-03-31T23:53:01.978+08:00_marked_I thought January and February went by so fast. March was even faster.<br /><br />Waay faster.<br /><br />Tomorrow is the beginning of the 2nd quarter of the year.<br /><br />March was a whirlwind month for all of us. I swear, time gets faster as you grow older (kainis bakit ganun :P).<br /><br />In the crazy month of March, I discovered something about myself. This certain experience caused me not exactly fear and not precisely comfort. It’s somewhere in between I guess – if that makes sense at all. The irony of it all is, while it was entirely a great day of discovery, it was in fact something I knew all along. It was an entity that was just untapped. I should probably say that it was a day of reaffirming what I’ve already possessed yet almost doubted. And I thought the experience was a rare enough episode at my age. I wish I could be more precise on what I’m talking about here, but I can’t :P. Only my Bes would know what I’m pertaining to -- which brings me to the most important event that happened this month:<br /><br />MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD GOT MARRIED!!!!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpZYNNDBb6XBhob2gNZ2y7hUnP0DuzRzg4cek4uXmEZ62fhnNgCC9-qKdtx6nhRWiVKVHkQh2ESspiUOZTBXAHSE3-D4C3-U1BE_k0ESSUV4U0H-MNFJ9nFiSvph9JaJpdcHHyTQ/s1600/bride+and+groom.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpZYNNDBb6XBhob2gNZ2y7hUnP0DuzRzg4cek4uXmEZ62fhnNgCC9-qKdtx6nhRWiVKVHkQh2ESspiUOZTBXAHSE3-D4C3-U1BE_k0ESSUV4U0H-MNFJ9nFiSvph9JaJpdcHHyTQ/s320/bride+and+groom.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454698556310523346" /></a><br />Best wishes B and Bes! (photo courtesy of Mike Frias)<br /><br />I’m still on a high about their beautiful, beautiful, wedding! I’ll write about that later. Perhaps I could talk about her bachelorette party too. Haha! It was the most hilarious party I’ve arranged and attended. Thanks to the girls, the party was a success! I wish we could party like that every month. ;)<br /><br />Have a good holy week everybody! It’s the perfect time for reflection.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-33208576043531064662010-02-27T23:15:00.004+08:002010-02-27T23:26:58.097+08:00_gotta roar into the year of the tiger_<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgVkr1-LPTmF_EVSFvk4AGFf_syUlXbFyT-iiTbGi-qn5XD4crHaboWBPdRvL66T20hED-jTnKY5TknjFOi5ZNL_qTGMUAP-TEW5Ta7LRY8WYMuCOj-OBb7X968PerbPNFCOJbbg/s1600-h/CIMG0953.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgVkr1-LPTmF_EVSFvk4AGFf_syUlXbFyT-iiTbGi-qn5XD4crHaboWBPdRvL66T20hED-jTnKY5TknjFOi5ZNL_qTGMUAP-TEW5Ta7LRY8WYMuCOj-OBb7X968PerbPNFCOJbbg/s320/CIMG0953.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442942610397972290" /></a><br />::Happy faces at the Chinese New Year Red Party::<br /><br />Gong Xi Fa Cai everybody!<br /><br />Chinese New Year Celebration is coming to an end -- tomorrow to be exact. February all happened in a blink of an eye. Both my personal and work life have been....eventful. I wanted to say stressful, but I'm starting to have a more positive take on things again. I still whine here and there, but a minute or two later I get back on track. I really have to anyway. Who else is gonna help me but myself, right? By God's grace, I'll be fine. :)<br /><br />All those things that happened this month really kept me busy, which is not to say that I didn't have time for reflection. Lots of it. Yes, I have this terrible habit of thinking too much. Doing so makes me feel like I'm locked in a circle of calmness and safety. It usually happens on my way home -- particularly that moment when I'm walking from the train station to the flat. Passing by the park (the quiet, clean and lovely park in our neighborhood) at night puts me in the perfect mood to think. Overthink. Pray. And sometimes, as much as I hate it to admit it...cry. I even sit on the bench for a while. Blame Singapore for putting up so many parks like this one. :P I will probably spend 1/4 of my time here in SG sitting on park benches pondering about life. Pathetic? Well, that's how I get by. Of course sometimes I think my problems are nothing compared to others'. But what am I supposed to do? <strong><em>This</em></strong> is the set of problems given to me. I have to deal with it and I am licensed to cry over it if I want to. If I have to. <br /><br />While it helps to think that others have bigger problems, sometimes I can't help but feel down about my own share. The last time I felt like this was, I think, about 5 years ago. I remember writing in my old blog that I was lonely, and that the loneliness was palpable. Kind of happening again lately. The only difference this time is that there is one person I know who can actually take away that loneliness. But that person is probably thinking of the same thing about me, and experiencing the exact same thing I'm going through. Whew.<br /><br /><br /><br />But life goes on. <br /><br />And the Year of the Tiger is welcoming me with open arms :) Might as well reciprocate! Like I said, I'm trying to be more positive again. ;)<br /><br /><br /><br />And if you're reading this, yes, I was talking about you.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-33395904748889740762010-01-21T00:44:00.002+08:002010-02-05T09:35:15.582+08:00_level_It really is true -- that everything is fragmentary, and it's up to us to supply the missing link. I suspect, however, that sometimes the missing link remains just that -- missing. <br /> <br />I feel like I've done everything on my part, yet I still feel that somehow it's not enough. It's never enough. I give whatever I could, offer everything I could. Explained everything there is to explain -- and God knows how long that is. :P But there will always be something missing. There's always something the world withholds from me. Maybe it's supposed to be that way. <br /> <br />But for a long time I held on to a certain belief that there is an answer to everything. The answers could be vague or even bad, but THERE IS something. There is a door to everything. If only you could find it. If only I could find it. <br /><br />And I want to find it now.<br /> <br />Waiting is particularly hard for someone like me. The heart of my problem, as I see it, is that I am -- as I have made it clear to most people -- not very patient. I'm sure the society (and by that I mean my mother) agrees with this. I am surprised to learn, however, that despite my being patience challenged, I have certain qualities of martyrdom when it comes to that one thing that makes us all fools.<br /> <br />Why do I feel that everything is pointless despite all the efforts we put in?<br /><br />I'm tired. And I am running on low fuel.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />*Ok. I am done contemplating. I'm going to bed now. :) *Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20844647.post-8393531136748190142010-01-02T01:15:00.001+08:002010-01-02T11:14:08.557+08:00_steady_<span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">For the past 3 years, my January 1st has always been filled with both happiness and well, some sad moments. The balance is just perfect.</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">It tells me that life, for the rest of year, will be filled with both and can even happen progressively. It also tells me that I am capable of handling anything that comes my way. </span><br style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">Today, I learned yet again that plans can change and promises can be empty. And while I enjoy the wonderful moments in life, I should always be ready for any letdowns.</span><br style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><br style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 0);">I'm ready for anything. I'm ready to face 2010! :)</span> <!-- multiply:no_crosspost --><p class='multiply:no_crosspost'></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2