_unabashed_


i am not as brave, the way some people are, in affirming that they do not have any regrets. i've heard it all before -- and even said it to myself at times --
"i don't regret anything in my life. for i wouldn't be who i am today if not for this and that, blah blah blah"

whatever.

a friend asked me if i would rather not have gone through that certain phase. i said yes. my mouth closed on the word, and i let out a sigh.

when i try to focus on the details rather than the totality, i realize that i could have lived just as fine if i didn't take that road. i could've just experienced a heartbreak in a totally different dimension.

i knew the consequences. i knew it from the beginning, though i wasn't able to articulate the thought. it was a matter of making choices. and i chose the bad one.

i regretted it. it belongs to yesteryears. even the regretting part is also over now. it's just that this is the first time that someone actually asked me about it.

so yes. i regretted it. and it was brave of me to admit that i did.