_flare_

no matter how well a person knows you or how perfectly you express your thoughts, it is inevitable that you will be misunderstood. there is almost something agonizing about it.

_barely_

I was right all along. Long distance relationships are a pain. But I went ahead and took the plunge.

Don't ever, ever, follow my footsteps.

_in between_

Can you really NOT have the best of both worlds?

The life altering decision I have to make soon will largely depend on my answer to the question above.

Yes, I've put a lot of time thinking and praying about this...but I'm still uncertain at this point.

16,000 lost jobs last year

This was the headline in Saturday's Straits Times.

And this is in Singapore alone. Recession is a global concern and Singapore is definitely not saved from it.

Whenever I'm pissed about work, perhaps I should remember that I am still lucky. This doesn't mean that I will do my work half baked. I have learned that even if you don't exactly have the job of your dreams, you must still do your best.

Here's to doing our best. :) And I truly wish that we can all survive this crisis.

Gong Xi Fat Chai

-- Chinese New Year at River Hong Bao with Bes --

Singaporeans may not celebrate Christmas and New Year's as grand as Pinoys do, but they surely make up for it during Chinese New Year. I've never seen Singapore so lively.

Happy Year of the Ox!

Cheers to my first Chinese New Year in a country that truly celebrates it. :)

decisions, decisions, decisions

Between now and June, I have to make a very big decision on a very important aspect of my life.

June seems quite far away, but there are just so many factors to consider.

I have options A and B, but both options seem to be of equal value and it makes the decision making part harder for me.

My friend told me, "You'll know you've made the right decision when you pick out the most difficult choice but your heart is at peace."

I hope my heart will be at peace.

tick tock tick tock...

In less than an hour, I will say goodbye to the 20's life. It's been...awesome.

Bukas na ang ma-emote na entry :)

Wow. This is my very last post as a 20 something haha! Bukas, ibang age bracket na ako. :P

December na

...and nothing can really beat the Christmas spirit in the Philippines.

Christmas this year will be very interesting and challenging for me. Pipilitin kong hindi umiyak.

It's bad enough that I am away from my loved ones, now my housemates are also going some place else on Christmas day.

Home alone. :( How does anyone spend Christmas alone??

Why Men Are Never Depressed :)

Got this from Tianne.

When you're having PMS and you read this, you'd really hate being a girl :P

Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too sicky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes!

No wonder men are happier.

_ashley, my tzu_

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY ASHLEY!!!! You bring so much joy to me and my family. Despite all the drama when I first got you, my family eventually fell in love you. Who wouldn't? :) (Mahal, thanks again for Ashley. Miss ka na ren nya :P)

Hehehe...parang kelan lang, I could carry her in one hand. Ngayon ang laki laki na!

Astig sya dito ha :P

*photos and notes courtesy of my sister, Justine :)

_lift_

An email from my brother:

----

"Good morning Ate.
Narinig kitang umiyak last night. Wag ka na malungkot ha. Malapit lang naman Singapore.
And I'm sorry hindi kita nabisita diyan. Pagtumagal ako dito, maaayos ko din yung pag renew ng passport ko. I love you!"

----

My family is not used to saying I love you to each other. But things changed since I got here.

On my mom's birthday, I called to greet her and I'm pretty sure it was the first time I ever told her I miss her.

Before coming here, I knew that homesickness will be part of working overseas. But I never thought it could be so unbearable. There are moments when I just feel like getting on the next plane out to Manila and not caring what's in store for me there. Yes, perhaps going back there will be harder. But the truth is, living anywhere in the world away from your loved ones is the hardest.

Everything I've heard about working overseas and the hardships that come with it, I now understand. I absolutely understand.

And I go through it every single day.

But then again, I should remember that coming here was an adventure. And it still is. No matter what happens, I'll survive. And I still feel so blessed. :)

_in the midst of hoping_

There were many factors that helped me slowly recover -- mostly prayers and constant support from my best friend, and this line which really caught my attention:

"when the real world around us makes so little sense, hope is the most beautiful of all irrationalities..."

I will keep praying...and believing.

quote

"It is only when you let go that life starts to grab you."

-- from Starworld's preview of Because I Said So

_sam_

You remain my inspiration when it comes to independent living and being strong. If people knew what you went through, they'd know what I'm talking about. Perhaps God really made you strong so you can also give support to your best friend when she's in pain :) Hehe. It's true what Carrie said in SATC.. “No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends."

Bes, thank you for reminding me that life is indeed worth living...and that I am worth loving. :) No matter where life leads me now, I'll definitely get by because of your support.

I am so lucky and thankful to have you as my best friend. Happy happy birthday!

I can't believe I am now here in SG and we can celebrate your birthday later :D Weee!!!! Sabi mo nga, 5 years (?) in the making ang pagiging housemates naten. :P

Love you bes ko!

_clouded_


i am in so much pain to see that "everything happens for a reason". and i honestly don't know what the hell i did to deserve this.

oh God, why me?

_bits and pieces_


-- Best wishes to newly wed couples (1)pao pao and gett and (2)arnel and mae!!! I'm sooo happy for you guys. Really wish I could be there on your wedding. Wrong timing ang pag alis ko :P

-- Happy National Day Singapore! We joined the celebration yesterday. According to Bes, we are proud to be residents of Singapore...wehehehe. We took the Singapore flyer (freaking expensive! 30SGD/pax!) while watching the parade/event. After dinner, we headed to Zouk. Galing ni DJ Aldrin. Hands down.

-- I am the first foreigner to be hired by our company (I have a Chinese colleague but she was already a Singapore Permanent Resident when she was hired). My employers think very highly of Filipinos. They worked with Pinoys when they were expats in Manila and they admire our attitude and work ethics. Syempre super proud ako to be Pinoy. And I will make sure that they won't regret hiring a Pinoy. :) They also admit that the Philippines is more interesting than Singapore. They are sooo right :P

-- From driving in Manila, I am now taking the public transport everyday. I really don't mind. The MRT, LRT and buses are very convenient and safe. But once in a while, I really miss driving. Maybe I can do that again when I visit Manila.

-- Indeed, it was an adventure finding a job in Singapore. Ask any foreigner who's been in my place and they would know what I'm talking about. Even if you are qualified (and even more qualified than the locals), the quota in hiring foreigners could hinder your chances of landing a job. The very first thing they ask you is "Are you Singaporean or PR (permanent resident)?" And once you say NO, they wouldn't entertain your job application. I am very thankful that I found a job and I am trying to help our kababayans who are still jobhunting to also land a job.

-- When I was jobhunting, God has really tested my patience. But in so many ways, He made His presence felt. And it was really important that I got the support of my family, friends and most especially, my Love. (Love, like I said before, I wouldn't have the courage to fly to Singapore if it weren't for you. I love you and I find strength knowing that you always believe in me.)

_ignite_


if horoscopes are true, then this year is proving to be difficult for people born in the year of the horse. this is my most frustrating and depressing year ever...and no, it's not because i'm turning 30 this year :)

they say that you should work hard for your future and that you can only depend on nobody else but yourself. so i'm doing just that. very soon i'll be packing my bags and start working on the future that's hopefully meant for me.

_clasp_


maybe i've done all i could. maybe i haven't. i need to think things over -- immensely. and probably for the first time i don't need anyone to listen. all i need is ME. i need to listen to myself...what my heart and mind say.

perhaps we can't grasp the real meaning of compromise. and until we can, or at least try to, we will continue to struggle.

_got cheeks?_


my boyfriend and i agreed that i should gain a little weight that will hopefully give me some cheeks. chubby cheeks like when i was six years old (see picture below)?

love, pag nagpataba naman kasi ako ngayon hindi na cute eh. :P nung 6 ako medyo papasa pa akong cute diba? :P

_rainless_


never have i imagined that things would almost always be this way. all this chasing is draining my energy. i get tired too, you know.

once in a while i also need to feel that i'm important. wanted. needed.