_alongside_

I winced. I was in the middle of taking it all in. I assumed it was a shade less dramatic than others, but the elements it had, at that time, was a big deal to me.

My initial private reaction was one of very little surprise with seemingly a hint of annoyance. Why wouldn't there be?

It really is difficult to see that things happen for a reason when you are the one stuck in a bad situation. No amount of advice is going to make sense to you until you get out of it. That powerful moment is never hurried. Never forced. And definitely never known when it's going take place.

So I waited for that moment. While I did, I listened. Observed. Processed. This was how I learned and coped, exactly as everyone does. From sideways comment over cold beer and fried food, sudden bursts of realization, or strange parallels that come curling out of a song, out of a movie, out of ad posters, out of a joke, and even out of a bad joke.

I stand back with half a smile and say to myself -- "this is how the world works".

I am still waiting for that moment. And until it comes, I will marvel at all these details around me. And even if the moment does come, I will still marvel at anything that makes me alive.

I don't want to get so used to the world that nothing amazes me anymore.