_relativity_


what do you do when neither speaking up nor remaining silent helps?

i seem to mess things up no matter what i choose to do. maybe i am the wrong variable in this equation.

i'm getting tired of solving this. i need a tutor. a people correlation tutor.

i can't remember the last time i was this mad, misunderstood and frustrated.

and i can't remember ever being this hurt by someone i truly care about.



this sucks.

_pink candle_


happiness comes in many forms, levels, and even lengths. a lot of times, people content themselves with these fleeting moments of happiness. they believe that a minute of happiness is better than not experiencing it at all.

i do too.

but at certain times it makes me want to believe otherwise, because once these moments are over, they are replaced by dullness and frustration. dullness and frustration that are choking me inside. dullness and frustration that leave me wondering if it's better if i had not experienced any amount of happiness at all.

and moreso than anything, the dullness and frustration leave me with a big question. was i truly happy...or was i just telling myself that i was happy?

i am leaning towards the latter. and it scares me.



maybe i need to light my pink candle.