_wobbly_

i missed the street which i was supposed to turn right to. i am guilty of thinking and driving. deep deep thinking yet still safe driving. it's amazing how i still end up alive and it's ironic that i get traffic tickets when i'm absolutely concentrated on the road.

i hit the gas pedal hard as i realized certain things to be real.

undiscovered turmoil and fever and a secondary fever of confusion, and then the astonishing relief from something wrong but probably right for me. i know this because the panic mode quickly turned into a calm one.

something became off-balance. i'm trying to determine which side it is. i'm going to either load or unload something. and that's the most difficult part --- deciding. i have to make the right choice because one wrong move would mean a permanent loss of stability.